Woman makes friend pay for food 8 times because she earns $35k more than her, gets offended when asked to pay for herself: 'I've spent over $400 on her meals'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 6, 2026 9:00 PM EST

There is a difference between being a friend and being an easy mark.

For the most part, people expect their friendships to be reciprocal. It is perfectly normal to do a favor or pay for something for a friend, but there is usually an informal agreement that they may do the same for you further down the line. Like all relationships, having friendships requires you to put in the work. That will probably mean taking out your credit card occasionally.

That being said, it can prove important to be prudent when it comes to covering expenses in this area of life. Some people are more than happy to take advantage of somebody's generosity and expect them to bankroll them in ways that were never agreed on previously. They see the relationships in their life by how much value they can extract from them, and not how they can balance the give and take in a way that benefits the lives of both parties. If they think that they have the money to spare, they will make a point of using it for their benefit. They feel entitled to that by virtue of being friends with somebody on a higher income.

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  • Two blond women share a toast at a restaurant table with plates and a charcuterie board in front of them
    via Nate Johnston

    Two blond women share a toast at a restaurant table with plates and a charcuterie board in front of them

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • In this story, two friends were on different incomes, and the one who earned less decided that this was a good excuse to make the other one pay for her meals. Whenever they went out to eat, it became an expectation that the friend with the higher salary would always pay for both of them.

    As they had never formally agreed on this arrangement, the friend who always paid felt that this was unfair. She put her foot down and told her that she needed to pay for her own food from now on. She took offense and claimed that this was discriminatory against those who didn't earn as much money.

  • My friend expects me to pay for her meal every time because I make more money

    I make about $75k a year. My friend Jessica makes about $40k. We've been friends since college (we're both 26 now).
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • Lately every time we go out to eat she "forgets her wallet" or says "can you get this?
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • You make so much more than me." At first I didn't mind covering occasionally. But it's EVERY time now.
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • We've gone out 8 times in the past month and I've paid for all of them.
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • Two women take a selfie in a restaurant, with a drink, charcuterie board, and cutlery on the bar in front of them
    via Nate Johnston

    Two women take a selfie in a restaurant, with a drink, charcuterie board, and cutlery on the bar in front of them

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • I did the math - I've spent over $400 on her meals. Yesterday when the check came she did the wallet thing again and I said "Jessica you need to start paying for yourself." She got upset and said "Wow I thought we were friends.
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • You make twice what I make and you can't spot me meals?" I said spotting someone is occasional, this is every single time!
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • She said "Well it's not fair that you make so much more. The least you can do is buy me dinner." I told her if she can't afford to eat out she shouldn't suggest restaurants.
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • She said I'm being "classist" and "money obsessed." She's texted me articles about "how the wealthy should support their less fortunate friends" and said our friendship might be over if I'm "going. to be like this about money." I don't think asking someone to pay for their own meals is unreasonable!
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • But she's making me feel like I'm being cheap!
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • Two women drink out of wine glasses and share a charcuterie board in a restaurant
    via Nate Johnston

    Two women drink out of wine glasses and share a charcuterie board in a restaurant

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • PieShoddy5358 Yeah you need a new friend. It doesn't matter how much you make, that's YOUR hard earned money. What got me was her sending you articles. Block that b asap like rocky
    via PieShoddy5358
  • Hairy-Avocado-4706 Original Poster's Reply The articles honestly felt manipulative.. it stopped being about friendship and started feeling like a guilt campaign. I worked hard for what I earn, and it's weird that she feels entitled to it
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • knittinggrandma28 She isnt a friend. Shes a leech. Drop her
    via knittinggrandma28
  • Hairy-Avocado-4706 Original Poster's Reply Yea.. looks like i have no choice.. but it really s ks since we've known each other for so long. I dont mind treating a friend sometime.. it's just money afterall but expecting to fund someone's lifestyle?? That's another story
    via Hairy-Avocado-4706
  • jasperjonns SHE is the one who is money- obsessed, not you. People always tell on themselves by what they accuse you of. She spends too much time thinking about how much money you make and how that can benefit her. She's a user and a mooch and you're better off without her as "a friend". Which she isn't.
    via jasperjonns
  • kseps 1983 She's NOT your friend. Friends don't expect or take advantage of friends. If she gets mad, she isn't a friend
    via kseps1983
  • organic-petunias75 The moment she said "its not fair" was the moment you should have gotten up from the table and left. But, next time she pulls that tell her that you are not her mommy and if she wants someone to foot her bill she needs to call her mom to do it because friends don't grift off of eachother. If you go out with her again, establish with the waiter immediately that you will have separate checks. And do not pick up hers.
    via organic-petunias75
  • nmw84pdx Tell her when she starts helping with household chores and splitting utility bills, you'll take her out for a little treat now and then lol
    via nmw84pdx
  • Aggravating-Show3495 And this is why some people don't tell their friends or family about their paychecks. They get weird and entitled
    via Aggravating-Show3495

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friendship salary friend argument food money entitled people
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